I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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