no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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