So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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