I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
