The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
