But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
