I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize