Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
false alarm. still invincible.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
