some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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