Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
