So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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