I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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