I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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