Your face is a jimmy john
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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