i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
