so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
