i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
