i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
