If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I lost the right to judge tonight
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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