I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Its about making memories worth repressing
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Boobs speak an international language.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
