didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
