nut hugger
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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