i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
