Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
