She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
