i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
