You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize