thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
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Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
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You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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