Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
