i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
