so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
