Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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