I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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