i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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