I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
