Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
