Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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