Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Holy shit dude........stairs
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
