if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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