Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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