I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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