Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize