I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize