just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
