just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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