It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
