I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
