i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
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He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
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I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.