yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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