Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now