talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.