Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.

Fav 20 3938 919
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

Fav 7 4149 1035
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

wtf

Fav 18 1663 5656
share tweet
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.

Fav 8 4670 1217
share tweet
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(413): View more from Massachusetts

you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.

Fav 8 1922 5185
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.

Fav 2 827 1197
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.

Fav 24 659 1443
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(562): View more from California

I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!

Fav 3 1070 671
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.

Fav 2 619 368
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT