Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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