Did you just see the Batmobile???
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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