i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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