hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
