My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
