you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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