yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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