I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
