Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
