the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
