Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
is wine microwaveable?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
