worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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