So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
