Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
