i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
