Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
